Annoyed

On the first week of working as an intern

Me: “So is this called working.. Did you experience the same thing when you’re a noob?”
Key: “Yes it is working. What do you expect huh?”
Me: “Nothing…”

I felt sorry for asking him that question. Sometimes I dislike the professionals especially when they forgot how pathetic they are when they also started as a noob.

When that guy asked me “What do you expect huh?” I should have answered, “A LOT! More than just what you’ve given to me, asshole!”

I’ve become all useless when I’m working at the office. Weird.

Chapter 3: It Came Into My Dream

Few days ago I hurt someone’s pride. He is my supervisor in my work place where I worked as an intern. Actually I admire him, I always think that he is a great guy. But I really never thought that in the end of my internship I would cause such a trouble that will cause a deep disappointment of a guy that I adored.

He misunderstood what I wrote as a joke in my online journal and he took every single of my playful words there seriously. The misunderstanding was pretty bad and it caused me mixed feelings; anger, sadness and guilt turned into one emotion. But that trouble has passed and I’ve apologized to him directly.

Few days have passed…

I thought after apologizing to him, I would feel better and fine. Well for a couple of days it is. But why last night I got a dream about me apologized to him again? That dream was so real until I still can remember how it goes now.

The weird fact, apologizing in dream is so much easier than in the real life. In that dream I could apologize and explain every single thing about what I mean in my previous harsh writing to him. But in the real life, I couldn’t even talk properly.. I got numb and speechless talking to him.

This is how I learned not to mess with anyone. It will leave nothing but a bad mark.

He might accept my apologize and say that everything is cool but in fact will everything be back to normal just as easy as throwing rubbish to the trash can?

I am not sure.

Chapter 2: I Ever Wanted To Be A Cheerleader

Morning!

Today is Sunday, and as it’s Sunday it reminds me of my audition day for a school cheerleaders team while I was still in the fifth grade of elementary school.

So there is this one cheerleader team in my school, consists of eight to nine cute energetic girls of 5th and 6th grade. This cheerleader team was established for a school anniversary festival, and they are the first cheerleader team ever existed in that school.

I was also part of the school anniversary festival but I took part in an aerobic dancing team. I don’t really remember how could I join that ridiculous aerobic dancing team.. Maybe my mom listed me or the trainer of the team picked me. The trainer was my classmate’s mom so maybe she just picked some of her daughter’s friends on random.

I was a small girl back then. All energetic and running all over the school with my fellow friends. That lady (the trainer) was always staying at school, talking with other ladies while waiting for their kids finished the class. So maybe she saw how energetic I was and then she picked me to be in the aerobic dancing team.

Aerobic dancing team isn’t as cool as cheerleader team. As you know in a big show, the coolest part must be placed near the end of the show. Well the aerobic show was put near the beginning of the show for an opening dance after a chairman’s speech. How about the cheerleader team? Well they’re put near the end of the show…

It’s clear enough that cheerleader is thousand way cooler than the aerobic team. I was a bit upset at that time and I thought it would be cool if I can join the cheerleader team. I was so sure that I could do all the acrobatic thingy like my friends in cheerleader team did.

Well time passed and suddenly the chance was coming. The cheerleader team opened up for a new member to be added in their team. I thought, “This is it. This is my chance! I’ve been waiting for this. I’m sure I could get in!”. So I asked some of my friends to join the audition too.

There was my friend named Trifena who was so energetic and a fast runner. She is taller and slimmer than me. I thought she was my only competitor but I really don’t mind if she took the place in the end. She deserved it and she was my friend.

The audition was held in my school hall on Sunday morning until afternoon. We were asked to dance according to the example. A native little girl with the male trainer gave the movement example in front of us then we (all the audition participants) had to follow their moves as best as we can. A little improvement were allowed. The point is all you have to do is to impress the trainer and the old cheerleader members with your moves.

I think I danced well but then I got all exhausted with the long audition. Besides, surprisingly, I wasn’t as flexible as I thought. In the middle of the audition process I realized a bit that I wasn’t suitable in this cheerleader team. Dancing and all those being cheerful things are not my world.

Then I wonder, why I ever had a thought that I want to be a cheerleader.. And the answer popped that I only wanted the fame. All those cheerleader girls were all famous in school and being liked by others.

I am sorry for my mom who was watching me doing the audition but I think she was disappointed and a bit embarrassed seeing her daughter. She always thought that this kind of thing wasn’t suitable for me but I insisted to join in. My mom preferred me to join in a choir team or a music team..

Well but that’s a lesson for me to never try to be like others. I have my own path and I surely have my own way to be famous one day. But this is it, there are some things that just beyond my reach. I have my limitation and I should know how to deal with it.

In the end of the audition, none of me or Trifena was chosen. Instead, a sixth grade girl was chosen.. But it is still amazing how I could dream to be in a cheerleader team when I was a kid.

Chapter 1: Time Cheated

It just happened again!!

I am thinking too much about what my first post should be and while watching Rain (a Korean singer) performances video on youtube suddenly the clock is already at 12:18 AM. How come? I’ve just been cheated by time!

The worse part, I still don’t have any story about today to be written for. I wonder where are the ideas that popped in my head when I was taking my evening shower just now?

Well it is officially Sunday now and I think I’d better catch some zees.. I hope I will have more useful story to write for tomorrow uhm I mean this afternoon.

Good night!